Considering the nature of software engineering and the modern, highly collaborative way that teams work together, it’s inevitable that there will always be disagreements among team members. Sometimes about something minor, and occasionally about something significant. How those disagreements are handled can make or break a team, and devising an effective strategy to handle disputes in a constructive and respectful way is an essential tool in any engineering manager’s toolkit.

It’s been proven that handling disagreements healthily can create an open, productive, and cohesive team environment. So, as a team’s boss or manager, what’s your role in a conflict resolution situation? When should you escalate a situation to HR?

Why is conflict resolution important?

Resolving conflicts for teams, companies, or organizations to work productively is essential. If left unresolved, there can be negative impacts on morale and productivity, resulting in an uncomfortable environment where trust amongst co-workers becomes difficult, which prevents them from achieving goals together.

Understanding and accepting different perspectives is a crucial part of dispute resolution. When people understand one another, they can create more cohesive and collaborative working relationships suitable for the individual and the team.

Being a mediator in a conflict situation as a leader is invaluable. You may want nothing more than for all parties involved, including yourself-to have their needs met and find peace with one another; however, this isn't always possible, which means that sometimes you need to take steps toward helping them resolve things on good terms while keeping your professional distance at other times.

‘Typically I’ll sit back and listen. I’ll wait for opportunities within the “conversation” to share my thoughts, trying not to throw shade on either party’s position’. - Steve Heidebrink, Software engineering manager 

When people conflict, it can be challenging to find common ground. The best mediators understand that they have a degree of bias and use their skills rather than authority or powerplay for success because this helps them meet the needs of all three parties involved: theirs (the conflicted team), yours (the manager), and the wider team, company or project goals.

Conflicts and disagreements in the workplace can arise for various reasons, from personality clashes to people not delivering on time. Each one should be tackled in slightly differing ways, and different processes must be implemented to stop these team disagreements from arising.

Team disagreements, conflicts, and differing goals

Task-based disagreements are expected within a team that relies on each other to move forward on a project. By default, working on a complex engineering project requires that each team member pulls their weight and delivers on target to the brief. Suppose one or more members of the team are not adhering to deadlines or not actively participating in a project. This can cause significant disagreements because it affects the delivery of the rest of the project.

In situations such as this, perhaps there is an underlying personal issue, a gap in their knowledge, the person is feeling burnt out, or another personal reason why they are late. To address these types of conflicts at the moment, speak with the person or people falling behind and find out why they aren’t delivering as agreed. Ensure you meet with the individuals separately to avoid putting anyone in an uncomfortable position and reaffirm your position as a mediator and neutral party.

Ensure that during this discussion, the person involved recognizes in what way their delay has affected the project to date but also provides an alternative date for the work to be completed, along with helping the team member to resolve whatever the issue is that has caused them to be late delivering, if possible.

Additionally, it is crucial to revisit the project management and communication tools and how the team uses them. Perhaps these aren’t being utilized to their full extent, and incorporating an alternative way of working with existing tools will help minimize the frequency of team-based disagreements in the future.

Styles of work

In our globally connected remote-first world of work, it’s common for asynchronous working to be the standard practice across many businesses, including for software engineering projects and teams. However, not everyone has adjusted to this method of working, which can lead to issues that are not dissimilar to team-based disagreements when there is a mismatch in working styles across the team.

Working styles are individual; some people like to be told exactly what needs doing and when, whereas some want to be given flexibility in their working practices and need minimal direction. Some prefer to be in continuous contact with regular updates, and some prefer asynchronous working styles and structured, non-continuous communication. What works for one person doesn’t always for another, and this disparity can be a root cause of friction and tension, leading to disagreements within the team.

‘Developers work at all kinds of speeds. Sometimes you get a good (or bad!) bonus along with that speed.’ - John L Miller, Software Engineer, Microsoft, Amazon & Google

Of course, the primary method of working within the team should be what’s most efficient for the business, and employees should generally adapt to this. With that in mind, it’s helpful to have a working document to refer back to that everyone has access to detailing what is acceptable and what’s expected.  To achieve this, implement a robust communications directive. Ensure that everyone in the team knows how and how often they are expected to communicate. If you use tools such as Slack, Trello, or Asana, create a guidance document on how to best use it, detailing expected project updates and what average team-wide communications look like for each channel.

However, even with this in place, disagreements will still happen. When approaching a scenario like this in the role of mediator, you need to understand from both parties what each wants and why they feel the conflict has arisen.

Asking open questions starting with “why?”, “how?” and “what?” will help you to determine each person’s position and allow you to see how these fit in with the team dynamic and working style. You can use this information to negotiate and adjust the situation to create a compromise, so the two parties can work together collaboratively.

Personality conflicts

A good and effective team comprises various personality types, skill sets, backgrounds, education, and other factors. Diversity within a team equals the ability to problem-solve and analyze a project from multiple angles and is undoubtedly positive for the business and the team. However, conflict and disagreements are inevitable when you have a range of personalities working together.

Recognizing the core personality types in the workplace is essential when building a team and even notoriously difficult personality types offer excellent skills to teams, even if they aren’t easy to manage. Once you take note of the different personalities in your team, you will recognize skill and personality gaps for making more informed hiring decisions and have a good idea of where friction or tension may occur.

Dealing with conflicts of this type is not dissimilar to mediating a task-based conflict or a work style clash. A certain level of sensitivity is required when addressing any of these situations – stress and disagreements at work are core contributors to burnout, so any of these situations should be handled with care.

What happens if the conflict is with leadership?

Sometimes conflict can occur because of a mismatch in management and leadership styles and the preferred working type of the team members. This can be difficult to swallow as the manager or the boss. Still, it’s also a natural and unavoidable part of running a team, considering everyone has a different working style.

The key to diffusing a team disagreement in this scenario is to try and be objective and to take a measure of your leadership style before entering a formal discussion about the source of the disagreement.  Ensure you clearly understand your leadership style and try to recognize and appreciate the work styles of those with whom the conflict lies. This will lead to a much more open and fruitful discussion, likely ending in resolution.

It's impossible to be entirely objective about your leadership conflict, and therefore you should ask another senior team member to mediate; this could be a member of the HR department, a director, or someone else senior within the business. If you’re the boss, it’s likely the final word rests with you. It’s essential to recognize that your style may need adjusting to accommodate the needs of your team - and someone else is more likely to be able to recognize this.

Sometimes conflicts are too severe to be resolved without intervention. This doesn’t necessarily mean only when the conflict involves the leadership team. Harassment and discrimination are both examples of where HR involvement is vital.

Final word

Helping your colleagues by using friendly, engaging, and honest language to understand their different positions and interests can, more often than not, help ease conflict and help everyone involved to find a resolution that both parties will agree with. Conflict within teams can even help to spark new and innovative ideas - disagreements aren’t always only negative!